complicated

gah!

my hamstring still hurts and my mood is not doing me any favours because of this diet i am on. i have spent the majority of my time reading these past two weeks. i have finished ‘the twilight saga‘ and i must admit that it is a rather good series of books to read. the sparkly vampire thing is quick to get over with and then you sort of get dragged into the story. it didn’t help that the main character ‘bella’ was depressed through most of the second book, but i managed through it well enough.

right now i am feeling at ends between my ballet and my writing. it is slowly starting to dawn on me that i can’t do both, with equal zest, as much as i would love to. i just can’t choose, how do you choose which twin child to keep?! i will have to deal with this somehow and see what happens. also, another spanner in the works is that i am seriously contemplating getting back into engineering but (and it’s a big but) i am looking at a position in sales and marketing. a change as good as a holiday? i could be optimistic here…

so much is going in my noggin right now and it’s has been a bit tumultous up there. it hasn’t done much for my writing for nanowrimo, i have started on two stories as i couldn’t focus on the first. i think the biggest problem, which i am trying to overcome, is my incessant need to make sure it is a ‘good’ story which goes against the point of nano. i just need to get my head around just writing and not stopping to edit or berate myself for poor grammar! i will overcome…

seriously, why couldn’t life be a little less complicated?!

bah!

(‘complicated’ is sung by avril lavigne and is taken from her album ‘let go’)

one step at a time

it has been an interesting week this week. i have been completely off dance this week as my leg has still been quite sore, i stupidly attempted to do a small version of a ‘grand pas ciseaux’ in celebration of my healing leg! Go figure… needless to say i managed to party myself legless on saturday during my brother’s birthday.

how frustrating being away from ballet has been, but i will survive and the rest is good as it means i will be ready to hit the barre from next week and get myself in tip top shape for the ballet production in november.

i have spent the week with hans mostly as his parents are away for the week. i have feebly attempted to study for my french exam and i have also attempted to get my head around all that i need to do for a career in writing, copy-editing and proof-reading. there is just so much information out there and i have just sat back and mildly freaked out! it’s ok though as i am breathing and just going to take this one step at a time. there is nothing else i can do now is there?!

i managed to squeeze in a visit to see jas this week as it has been a while since i last saw him. he was very helpful about the whole concept of freelancing and i have some new leads to work on. i also went back to jpo this week with nas to see performance of beethoven and i so loved beethoven’s 6th! it was a trip down memory lane as i relived my entry into classical music with the disney movie ‘fantasia’! i really enjoy that movie and it was my introduction into classical music. i just wish i had more of a classical music education as i can only really name a very few pieces.

i really want to see the movie ‘paranormal activity’ when it comes to sa. it looks like such a freaky movie and the preview had me in chills. i love scary movies (for some reason) and seeing that preview reminded me of ‘the blair witch project’ on steroids (thanks to the hype). ‘blair witch project’ is one of the few movies that have really spooked me and so seeing the preview for ‘paranormal activity’ has been such a rush!

here is the preview if you are brave enough to watch… *insert evil laugh here*

i have also finally started reading ‘twilight’, much behind the rest i know but i never really had the time before now. it’s so good to be reading again though and the story isn’t that bad although it is very reminscint of a story i read many years ago by l.j. smith who just so happens to have one of her series being interpreted into a t.v. series called ‘the vampire diaries’!

i quite like the idea of it being finally filmed as the books were released in 1992, although i am a little wary of it as i am not too impressed with many book to film/t.v. adaptations. but this remains to be seen.

light and love to you all…

(‘one step at a time’ is sung by jordin sparks and is taken from the album ‘jordin sparks’)

eh, eh (nothing else i can say)

it has been announced recently that lady gaga will be performing with the bolshoi ballet as part of the las angeles’ museum of contemporary art’s 30th anniversary.

this performance has been conceived by artist francesco vezzoli whom i know nothing about. i just look forward to seeing the performance (via youtube of course) as i really like lady gaga as an artist and of course pairing her with a great ballet company, nothing else i can say?!

the news article can be found here, and i must credit the ballet bag for retweeting it.

(‘eh, eh (nothing else i can say)’ is sung by lady gaga and can be found on  ‘the fame‘)

freak out

it’s official… i am trying not to panic! it’s not going so well today seeing as i am at panic stations, nausea has taken control and i have this overwhelming need to sleep! i am a little freaked out, last week was good in the sense that i had ballet to fill up my time and now with the injury i am stuck at home studying for my french exam. you would think i would be more motivated though seeing as my exam is in less than 2 weeks!

ok. not going to panic right now, but i am borderline.

i am still in the process of finding alternative ways of earning income seeing as engineering really hasn’t been working out for me. i want to go into editing and proofreading and now i am in a process of trying to get myself prepped for that. who knew that there would be so much prep work for editing, but then again i am not one for jumping blindly into something. jumping yes, but i have to at least have some knowledge of what i am getting myself into. have some books on article writing and copyediting and now to actually read them. let’s hope that over the next few weeks i can maintain sanity (less the panic) long enough to actually read and finish some books. speaking of which, i have finished two books in the last week. i ready ‘memoirs of a master forger‘ by william heaney and ‘my horizontal life’ by chelsea handler. the former being a fictional autobiography of a book forger who can see demons and the latter being a non-fictional account of miss handler’s sexual adventures. if you are in the market for a good laugh then i can definitely recommend chelsea handler’s book. review to follow…

no ballet this week has really put a damper on things this week. trying not to dwell on it though and even trying to focus my attention on other things (like studying and my quilt panel which is due for november) and with the panicking and general freaked out me this week nothing seems to be happening past sleeping studying.

i really hope that things change for me soon. mentally that is…

(‘freak out’ is sung by avril lavigne and is taken from the album ‘under my skin‘)

anger

i spit the bile of the world
i see only scarlet
my blood a tempered blade

cutting knife

you made me this way
you are my anger
you are the curse forbade

cutting life

no more do the shackles bind
no more does the sky bleed red
no more memories of you will i find

in my heart you are but dead